


Trapped

by Raquelle



Category: Utena
Genre: Poetry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2001-04-01
Updated: 2001-04-01
Packaged: 2013-05-01 22:22:18
Rating: K
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/242799/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/54701/Raquelle
Summary: Saionjii does some more angst filled brooding about his often-slapped ex-bride.





	Trapped

Trapped   
  
I look at you   
so small and fragile and   
instantly I want to reach out, protect  
hold you against my chest   
mine   
  
but in your eyes  
as you look up at me  
is the bird of freedom  
endless light on light and   
interwoven emeralds of dazzling eternity   
sing to me   
that you are never were never will never be  
mine   
and you belong to me only because I belong to you  
and something much greater  
spinning us round in duets of swords  
and pity   
  
You are mine   
for a mere moment   
in a never ending string of moments  
pearls on a broken necklace  
I am meaningless and   
already forgotten  
If I ever existed at all   
as part of you  
and you are older wiser stronger  
then all the fools that have died for you   
trodden down into the mud   
even as they reach up, hands outstretched   
to touch the hem of your dress   
and you think I don't SEE  
  
  
all I want to do is cling   
to the fragments of your burnt shell  
jagged edges curling back  
that has already turned to smoke and   
ashes the smell of faded roses   
the light is too bright to ignore  
more than this  
I cannot comprehend  
these ancient paradoxes  
what is and what shall be   
molded together like forged metal   
hammer on stone   
makes no logical sense   
to the mind taught in logic  
not fairy tales  
and the poetic nonsense you tell me  
is truth  
a mind where the earth is solid   
and reality   
does not dissolve at the drop of a hat   
or the pull of a string  
  
my sweet flower and  
the serpent underneath   
I do not know what to say to you  
but I cannot stand  
will not allow   
tremble when  
you to look at me like that   
a hand fast across your cheek and   
the universe of light fades away in your eyes   
why cry out?  
it is, after all, your own victory  
and pain  
pain like that even a fool can understand  
  
so how am I supposed to control   
how can I understand what I don't know  
hold me  
if you can't accept me   
my head against your chest   
like the mother who has abandoned her children   
as she stands in the doorway  
her children naked and helpless and begging for her redemption  
because it was all their fault from the beginning  
and she does not have to apologize   
after all  
  
whisper softly   
just like that   
and gently smooth the nightmares   
out of my hair  
tell me that it's not my fault  
that I never chose to be  
yours  
  
Author's Notes:   
  
Well. This was long, to say the least. Saionjii's not one of my favorite characters, but he is an interesting person to write about. Please note that I am not in any way condoning his actions towards Anthy, but it isn't just random violence (he does hit Miki once, but I won't get into that). I've tried to at least touch upon the immense complications of their relationship with this poem. Tell me what you thought of it at rachel_rewind@hotmail.com.   



End file.
